Well, This Is Uncomfortable: Is MAGA Creating Female Misogynists

Can It Be True?

At first blush, we say, no…this can’t be! Absolutely not a thing. Never seen it. But, inevitably, after chopping it up with colleagues, family or friends who have had some concerning experiences with a certain type of woman in the workplace or community, you likely will open room in your brain to consider the concept of women who act like misogynists and think, “hmmm, you know, maybe that is a thing.”  Worse, we now we see it in our national politics, bold as brass with the likes of Governor Sarah Sanders, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lara Trump, who support anti-women policies such as ending access to abortion, anti-childcare supports and are pro-child labor.  As hard as it is to admit as a woman, apparently there are a few misogynistic women. It is a head-scratcher. Recently, Ruth Marcus from the Washington Post wrote about it and really made me reflect about women, society and politics.

In fact it reminded me of a conversation with a friend where she just blurted out, “I think she is a misogynist…”, while speaking of a female boss. She went on to say, Clare, her boss, shared some odd advice after a contentious meeting where a male colleague had clearly attacked her: “Can’t you just apologize and make peace, you know - he’s a guy and you are always so assertive with your ideas. It’s exhausting. Let him win. You’re still right and he was wrong, but he thinks of you as too aggressive, and, well I do too - so can you just back down?” The answer is quite simply, no - nobody needs to apologize for presenting ideas. My friend and I chatted for a while and really thought about with everything our gender has been through, are you kidding me, women acting this way too? These are precisely the things women do not want to discuss or even think about, because we all want to be ‘sisters in the cause’, right? Misogynistic apologists or straight-up women misogynists – what? Don’t we have our hands full with garden-variety male misogynists? For God’s sakes, we cannot have our team in on it too! This concept and discussion clearly piqued my curiosity.

Turns out, there is a small cohort of women who, unbelievably, are biased against some other women for a myriad of reasons. In fact, Psychology Today (August 2019, “Twelve Ways to Spot a Female Misogynist”)wrote about misogynistic women. Dr. Berit Brogaard, PHD, an expert in this space, has categorized female misogynists into four types: The Puritan, The Self-Critic, The Self-Loather and my personal favorite, The She-Devil. As I read more about these archetypes, it triggered some less than pleasant memories of situations I found perplexing with other women.

Dr. Brogaard defines The Puritan as someone who takes the ideal woman to be “domestic, subservient, mild-tempered, alluring, youthful”, and adopts the values of her misogynistic husband. My friend’s female boss (Clare), I just spoke of is a classic example of this, the apologist and peace-maker. Now, most will say “those women do not exist anymore.” Sadly, they do. Very rare now, but they are still around.

Next category, The Self-Critic. She is a bucket of fun too. The Self Critic, according to Brogaard, is incredibly fond of “men being dominant alphas and women should be soft and compliant”. She reacts negatively to females she takes to be loud, too domineering, are androgynist in their presentation in any way, or if they are too goal-driven, competitive and /or alpha-like. Brogaard, indicates in short, the Self-Critic does not like to report to assertive, successful women at work, but is fine reporting to successful men. So much so, she perceives, she, herself is a bit out of place or a misfit. She will also go to great lengths to “take down” successful women because they likely are competitive with her and, consequently, knows she will have to work harder.

 Several years ago, I came across this type of woman, who revealed herself over time. Terry was divorced from a generationally-wealthy guy, was irritated she had to work full-time again post-divorce and was a single mom now. Her hours at work were reflective of her interest in her career and goals; very little and begrudgingly. Worse, she demonstrated light racism and homophobia on occasion as well as some clearly antiquated ideas about women. She was a senior person who reported to me, had been at the organization for a decade and out of the gate, let me know she was not interested in working hard, trying new ideas or working differently than she had before my arrival. And, she did not want to report to a women. Ultimately and unbeknownst to me, she started a small internal revolt with her team via undermining tactics toward me. I was truly taken aback. I decided to take my Dad’s evergreen advice from years prior, “When people tell you who they are, show you who they are and break your trust, they will do it again” and I resigned from the organization. The Self Critic will go to the end of the earth to avoid introspection, blame others in order to avoid a needed change in their behavior, but will work very hard to undermine other women to avoid accountability and stop other women’s success. Luckily, I had options and moved on. We live and learn.

Hulu’s “The Handmaid’s Tale” is filled with examples of the third type, the Self Loather, who hates herself and most women for “being promiscuous, manipulative incompetent or irrational”, according to Brogaard.  The 2019 Psychology Today article describes this type well, “inside the Republic of Gilead, where most women are infertile, the remaining fertile women are enslaved as handmaids”. The article goes on to explain, “Serena is one of the story’s female accomplices who actively participate in the dehumanization of their own gender.”  The wives show no compassion to the handmaids generally and tend to be more harsh than the men. Having watched this series, I cannot think of a better example of this Self Loather archetype than Serena.  I have never met anyone like this and cannot imagine I will, but in certain circles, they may exist. Scary to be sure!

Ah, the final type categorized by Dr. Brogaard, the She-Devil misogynist, regards herself as equal to men in authority, if not even higher in stature, intelligence, competence, or ability. This is where our current political spectrum plays a role. The She Devil tends to be more traditionally male, competitive and ruthless. Although as a twist, frequently dresses very feminine, perhaps even provocatively, and has styled hair, nails and wears a good deal of makeup. Many of the She-Devils, according to Brogaard, can have narcissistic traits with borderline personalities and be the most cunning and calculating of all the types. These are usually women who are ruthless and have no compunction about who they hurt, kill (metaphorically or maybe not so metaphorically), lie about and ruin. I have to say several MAGA women come to mind here right away in our current political world.  Immediately I think of Governor Sarah Sanders, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene and Congresswoman Lauren Boebert. My personal hope after this election is this is a waning and dying  (not literally, but metaphorically) breed of women.

While, we cannot take these examples and apply them perfectly to society or make generalizations, some of Brogaard’s thoughts are provocative and controversial, but I do think on rare occasions we see these women and the four archetypes - frequently among highly conservative women.

The real message here is we have all experienced light female misogyny, but we don’t like to call it out, because we have a hard enough time dealing with male misogynists and we don’t like to see other women hurt. The antidote? Know a few things, 1. Female misogynists do exist in some spaces and you absolutely are not crazy. 2. Generally, steer clear of these women. Let them have space, don’t get close to them emotionally, physically or competitively. Do not give them any information. Remember, at the end of the day, we should be working toward our own personal bests and together, not in competition with a negative influence. Play your game, not hers. 3. Give them the benefit of the doubt upon the first or second grievance, but on the third instance, definitely engage human resources or the authority in place at your organization in a respectful way.

Female misogynists are just bullies in another form. Don’t ignore it, but don’t overreact, own your space, let them know you are not to be played with and move on.

Finally, don’t go shopping for these women as they may not exist in your spaces, as they are not everywhere, and only crop up occasionally.  However, if you come upon a female misogynist, do not be shy about revealing her and dealing with it.

Well I have not done the “good news topper” in awhile, but here it is:

Some Good News!: Overdoses in the U.S. are in decline. Overdoses have declined by 10.4% from 2023 to 2024. This is likely due to the availability of Naloxone, the medication that reverses the effects of overdose.

https://www.npr.org/2024/09/18/nx-s1-5107417/overdose-fatal-fentanyl-death-opioid?ref=mariashriversundaypaper.com