Red Scare 2.0: Trump Discovers Communism Just In Time For The Fourth of July

When Your Political Playbook Is Older Than Your Golf Cart

Well, we knew he would bring out the old highlights reel at some point...

Nothing says “Happy Birthday, America!” quite like a sweating, increasingly desperate lame duck president standing before a crowd of drenched and overheated supporters, pointing dramatically at the opposition party and screaming “COMMUNISTS!” Everybody loves an old antique politician who just discovered a 1952 Joseph McCarthy pamphlet in his golf bag and thought, “ Huh, Now THIS is fresh material.”

On Independence Day — that sacred holiday when Americans traditionally celebrate freedom (even with a very racist and decidedly not-free past), fireworks, and overcooked hot dogs — Donald Trump decided the most patriotic thing he could do was resurrect a political insult so stale it arrived wearing a Korean War-era trench coat. Democrats, he declared, are communists. Not that they are misguided. Not wrong. Not even garden-variety socialists. Full-blown, Marx-reading, Kremlin-loving communists and he meant it.

Somewhere, Joseph McCarthy slow-clapped from whatever circle of hell he currently occupies.

Why Is He Doing This? (Spoiler: He’s Terrified)

Let’s be honest about what’s actually happening here, because context, as they say, is everything.

Trump is not making this argument from a position of strength. He is making it from the position of a man who watches his party’s internal polling the way a hypochondriac reads WebMD — with mounting panic and increasingly catastrophic interpretations. Republicans are staring down the barrel of a brutal November midterm environment, with the House looking increasingly shaky and the Senate teetering like a Jenga tower in an earthquake.

He is beyond terrified if Democrats and Independents take over the House and Senate, he will be rendered useless and powerless.

Generic ballot numbers are trending Democratic. Suburban voters — particularly women — have been fleeing the Republican Party faster than staffers flee a Trump press conference. Immigration, reproductive rights, economic anxiety, and a general exhaustion with chaos have conspired to create what political scientists politely call “an enthusiasm gap,” and what the rest of us call “Republicans are in serious trouble.”

So naturally, when you have no substantive policy argument to make, when your legislative record is a greatest hits album of tax cuts for billionaires, cruelty to immigrants, heinous racist behavior, failed healthcare repeals, and your most memorable achievement was getting indicted — you, of course, call everyone a communist.

It’s the political equivalent of flipping over the Monopoly board when you’re losing and stomping your feet. Dramatic, childish, and deeply revealing about the person doing it.

A Brief, Gentle Lesson On What “Communist” Actually Means

Readers of my Substack, I am quite sure know the exact definition of Communism, but in the event you share with others who have equally busy lives, but may not - a fast primer follows.

Now, for those playing along at home, let us take a small educational detour, because apparently someone skipped the relevant chapter in literally any history book for Trump and his followers.

Communism is a political and economic ideology advocating for collective ownership of the means of production, the abolition of private property, and a classless, stateless society. It was theorized by Karl Marx, implemented with catastrophic authoritarian results in the Soviet Union, China, Cuba, and elsewhere, and has absolutely nothing — nothing — to do with Democrats wanting to tax billionaires and stop price gouging.

The current Democratic Party led by Conservative Democrats, for the record, are a center-left political party that enthusiastically supports capitalism, private enterprise, stock markets, and the fundamental right of corporations to make Jeff Bezos incomprehensibly wealthy. Their most radical recent achievement was adding a dental benefit to Medicare. Fidel Castro did not die for dental benefits.

Former Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi is a multimillionaire (reportedly, a net worth of $330 million). Progressives, Democratic Socialists and congress members like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are fighting for a $15 minimum wage — a policy position held by a majority of American voters, including many Republicans, which would make the entire country communist by Trump’s definition, including the red states.

Now to be clear $15/hour in today’s economy should be $23/hour, but that is another topic and another column.

Calling Democrats communists is roughly as accurate as calling your local Applebee’s a Michelin-starred French bistro. Technically both serve food. The comparison ends there.

The same is true of Democratic Socialists, but the difference with DS folks have actual plans to raise the wage, tax billionaires, create housing, stop the current Gilded Age, create affordability and increase jobs, all while still being a Democracy and a much more socially responsible capitalist country. It has no intention of ending capitalism, but is hellbent on making it fairer.

How To Respond Without Losing Your Mind

So what do you do when Uncle MAGA corners you at the next Summer barbecue and breathlessly informs you that Democrats are communists?

Here is your light hearted, battle-tested, foolproof response:

“Oh absolutely. That’s why every Democratic president has governed over a thriving stock market, protected private property rights, and actively supported NATO — which, funny enough, was created specifically to STOP communism. Meanwhile, the guy calling everyone communists spent his presidency praising Vladimir Putin, the former KGB officer running an actual authoritarian state and making money off of the presidency and living a full life of quid pro quo with oligarchs. And, for bonus points keeps using tax dollars to take over production, actively obtaining equity in large companies and providing welfare to billionaires. But sure — the people who want cheaper insulin are the real Bolsheviks.”

Then take a long, slow sip of your beverage and watch the gears grind. There will be screaming likely.

You might also simply ask: “Can you name one thing Democrats have proposed that would actually qualify as communist policy?”

Spoiler: They cannot. The conversation will end faster than Trump’s attention span during a security briefing.

The Punchline America Deserves

Here is the delicious irony wrapped inside this rhetorical disaster: Trump is attempting to weaponize fear of authoritarianism while being, by any objective measure, the most openly authoritarian major political figure in modern American history — a man who praised dictators, attempted to overturn a democratic election, and once suggested maybe America should try having a president for life.

The communist accusation isn’t an argument, it a confession. It’s a flare gun fired by someone who knows the ship is sinking.

Happy Summer, everyone.

May your hot dogs be perfectly charred, your fireworks spectacular, and your political discourse marginally more sophisticated than 1952.

have a great week,

M

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